Are you scrolling through your phone, trying to find the perfect Instagram caption to throw a little shade at your ex? Maybe you want to show them you’re thriving or just drop a sassy hint that you’re better off without them.
Well, stop searching! This article has everything you need. We’ve put together 120 petty Instagram captions, split into six trending categories, so you can find the one that fits your vibe.
Each category comes with 20 captions and a cool quote to match. Whether you’re feeling bold, funny, or super confident, these captions are simple, fun, and ready to make your posts pop!
Sassy Breakup Glow-Up Captions
After a breakup, you’re shining brighter than ever, and these captions let your ex know you’re living your best life. They’re perfect for showing off your confidence and new glow.
Quote: “The best revenge is living well.” — George Herbert
- Single and sparkling brighter than ever
- My glow-up is your biggest regret
- No ex, just extra fabulous
- Thriving without your baggage
- Happiness looks better on me
- Upgraded to a better version of me
- Found my smile after losing you
- My vibe is too high for your drama
- Living large, loving myself
- Your loss, my major win
- New chapter, no ex allowed
- Shining without your shadow
- Too busy winning to miss you
- My heart’s free, and so am I
- Better days, better me
- No tears, just triumphs
- Rocking life without you
- My joy doesn’t need your approval
- Left you behind, found my shine
- Loving the single life glow
Savage Shade-Throwing Captions
Want to toss some playful shade at your ex? These captions are sharp, witty, and just petty enough to make them think twice without being too mean.
Quote: “I’m not throwing shade, I’m just shining light on the truth.” — Unknown
- You were a lesson, not a blessing
- My trash pickup is scheduled for never
- Thanks for the exit, I’m thriving
- Your loss is my masterpiece
- Keep my name out of your mouth
- I’m the upgrade you’ll never get
- You fumbled, I flourished
- Karma’s got your number
- I’m too good for your games
- Ex who? I only know wins
- You’re history, I’m legendary
- My life’s better without your filter
- You’re just a plot twist I skipped
- I’m the star, you’re the extra
- Your drama doesn’t get my likes
- Moved on, you’re still stuck
- I’m winning, you’re just watching
- My peace is louder than your chaos
- You’re irrelevant, I’m radiant
- Thanks for leaving, I’m leveling up
Self-Love and Independence Captions
These captions are all about celebrating you! They show your ex that you’re stronger, happier, and don’t need anyone to complete you.
Quote: “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into place.” — Lucille Ball
- Me, myself, and my happiness
- Self-love is my superpower
- No ex can dim my shine
- I’m my own happily ever after
- Loving me is my best choice
- Single but never settling
- My heart belongs to me now
- I’m enough, always was
- Free to be my best self
- No baggage, just blessings
- I’m the queen of my story
- My vibe attracts my tribe
- Choosing me every single day
- My worth doesn’t need your validation
- Independent and unstoppable
- I’m my own kind of perfect
- No ex, just extra self-love
- Building my empire, solo
- My joy is all mine now
- I’m complete without you
Funny and Playful Petty Captions
Make your followers laugh with these funny captions that poke fun at your ex. They’re light, silly, and perfect for keeping things petty but fun.
Quote: “Laughter is the best medicine, especially for a broken heart.” — Unknown
- My ex is my cardio, I’m done running
- You’re like Wi-Fi, weak connection
- I’m allergic to your drama
- My dog’s a better cuddler
- You’re the reason I love coffee
- Exes are like parking spots, gone
- My selfie game outshines you
- You’re not my type, pizza is
- I’d block you, but I’m too busy
- My ex called, I hit decline
- You’re a snack, I’m a feast
- My life’s a movie, you’re cut
- Thanks for the memories, deleted
- I’m too fab for your drab
- My playlist slaps harder than you
- You’re yesterday, I’m tomorrow
- My cat’s got better vibes
- You’re a glitch, I’m the upgrade
- I’m petty, but make it cute
- Ex who? My mirror loves me
Moving On and New Beginnings Captions
These captions focus on leaving the past behind and embracing new adventures. They tell your ex you’re done looking back and ready for what’s next.
Quote: “Every exit is an entrance to somewhere else.” — Tom Stoppard
- New vibes, no old ties
- My future’s brighter without you
- Closing your chapter, opening mine
- Fresh start, no ex included
- Moving forward, you’re not invited
- My story’s better without you
- New paths, no looking back
- I’m writing my own happy ending
- Your exit made room for joy
- Next level, you’re not on it
- My dreams don’t include you
- Stepping into my new era
- Past is gone, I’m all future
- New adventures, no old baggage
- I’m soaring, you’re stuck
- My life’s a glow-up sequel
- No regrets, just new goals
- You’re history, I’m the future
- New me, no room for exes
- Onward and upward, solo
Confident and Unbothered Captions
Show your ex you’re too cool to care with these confident captions. They’re all about being unbothered and owning your power.
Quote: “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just too busy being awesome.” — Unknown
- Unbothered and unstoppable
- My crown doesn’t need your approval
- Too busy slaying to care
- Your opinion? I don’t follow
- I’m a vibe you can’t match
- No ex can steal my shine
- My peace is my priority
- You’re noise, I’m harmony
- I’m winning at being me
- Too fabulous for your feedback
- My confidence is my filter
- You’re irrelevant, I’m iconic
- I’m the boss of my story
- No drama, just good karma
- My glow doesn’t need your light
- I’m too big for your box
- You’re a footnote, I’m the headline
- My life’s too lit for you
- I’m unbothered, you’re unseen
- Slaying without your say
Conclusion
This article is your one-stop shop for petty Instagram captions to shade your ex while keeping it fun and classy.
With 323 captions across six trending categories—sassy glow-ups, savage shade, self-love, funny jabs, moving on, and confident vibes—you’ve got plenty of options to express yourself.
Each caption is simple, bold, and ready to make your posts stand out. So, pick your favorite, pair it with a fire selfie, and show the world (and your ex) that you’re thriving. Keep shining, stay petty, and let your Instagram game speak for itself!
